Handling Disappointments

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling a little disappointed, not to mention overwhelmed, lately.

There have been many changes at TEAM ADAMS including new jobs, new pressures, and new responsibilities.

It seems like there is never enough time in the day.

I’ve been wishing my energy level was higher (I crash by 9pm almost every night it seems) and I’m disappointed in my wanna be Susie Homemaker skills. I can never get everything done that needs to be accomplished on the home front. PLUS, I am attempting to build my own career in a very tough and competitive industry.

I question the decisions we make for Ella.

What does she need to become an awesome & productive member of society that feels HAPPY and lives in peace with herself?

Add to that the expectation of trying to find time for the husband and me…and also time for me!. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I roll on, and sometimes,

I FEEL DISAPPOINTED and BUMMED OUT

Add to those “internal” expectations and disappointments, all of the “external” voices chirping in your ear.

people you trust and love that surprise you with their hurtful words or actions, places you go (maybe even a fitness class) that are not what you were expecting, the constant media chatter, the news that never ceases to amaze us, good people being dealt a tough deck of cards

It makes you ask:

WHY?

Put all of that together, and no wonder we feel like we are hamsters on a big-ass wheel!

Here’s the thing – it’s life, it happens. How you deal and cope is what sets you apart from others when it comes to attitude and outlook.

The sermon during mass on Easter Sunday really spoke to me when it comes to this topic. It doesn’t matter what or who you believe in, so hang with me on this.

If you take the time to call to mind YOUR ACTIONS and YOUR THOUGHTS and own up to your end of the bargain, you most likely will cope better than those that never look in the mirror.

The disappointments and heartaches will always be there. After all, the sun wouldn’t be as sweet without the occasional cloudy sky. We have more power than we may think. Sometimes you have to dig pretty FREAKIN’ DEEP!

But it’s there.

Easy to say, tough to do.

I was recently disappointed by a friendship that I had invested so much in. Looking back, it was probably too much. I never took the time to evaluate and reflect…I just went with it, like the hamster on the wheel.

I lost a little bit of myself, sacrificed a part of my core value system and became consumed with a world that was not my own.

Suffice it to say, the friendship ended badly. I was left feeling overwhelmed with disappointment and frustrated that I had no say. After all, it was someone else’s world, not mine, that I ventured to.

I was left to clean up the pieces at a very inconvenient time in my life; isn’t that how it always goes?

Luckily for me (and those around me:) I chose to look in the mirror.

By looking in the mirror, I found so many lessons that are able to help with big and small disappointments.

I need to set boundaries and define expectations in my relationships with others. I tend to be an all or nothing girl – lots of black and white, very little gray.

Guess what, the gray is often where the magic happens.

Embrace the middle ground! Find balance!

Had I set boundaries and placed a bit more space in my friendship that is no more, things would inevitably be different. I looked in the mirror, so I see that now.

If you are disappointed, are you dwelling on what went wrong and agonizing about how you can “fix” it?

~or~

Can you let go,

embrace the change,

learn,

move on,

and do better next time!

I’m choosing to move on & take the lesson. I enjoy feeling empowered; I’ll leave the disappointment behind for another lesson I’m sure I will be getting one day.

I’m also choosing to think about what is realistic. I have always tried to do so much, maybe too much. It seems a little crazy that it has taken me 34 years to realize “overcommitting” might not be the path of bliss….ah, reality strikes again.

Onward and upward my friends.

Until next time, be you, do what you do.

xo

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