Smashed

I smashed it.

Into a million little pieces.

Gone.Done.Goodbye.

There is no place for you here.

I got the biggest hammer I could find, put it in a heavy duty trash bag and

SMASHED IT!

I'm over it. It doesn't serve me. It's data I simply don't need.

118 127 162 157 145 146 148 134 125 173 92 153 100 130

Really, it is just a number, right?!

Yea right!“, is more like it.

If it was really just a number, it wouldn't cause your mood to change in a split second due to anything deemed “unacceptable” by you.

If it was really just a number, it wouldn't put instant thoughts of being “bad” or “good” into your mind, trying to determine your self worth and level of self control.

And, if it was really just a number, we wouldn't be so preoccupied with trying every “diet” and “trick” out there to try and move that number an itty bit lower, if only for a moment. The magazines with the salacious headlines claiming they [FINALLY have the ANSWER to help you lose those last 10 pounds for good] wouldn't sell.

COME ON!

So many of us have lost all logic and reasoning when it comes to the flat, square calculator we stand on {naked-after-going-to-the-bathroom-before-eating} – duh! It holds a prominent place in any bathroom in America and it doesn't like to be messed with – it WILL talk back.

I have decided to get rid of the very thing that has robbed me of my joy one too many times.

Never again is a number going to determine whether or not I'm going to have a good day or a bad day; eat the cookie or survive on coffee; love myself with reckless abandon or scrutinize every imperfection.

Never. Again.

I workout because I like to feel strong and alive, not because the scale told me that I'm fat.

I eat a cookie because I really want to enjoy it with someone I love; better yet, I want to connect with my daughter and laugh while we make our own from scratch using a new recipe I've been dying to try.

I wake up in the morning and love my body for what it does for me. I can do EVERYTHING I want to do. There is nothing holding me back. Truly.

The trendy magazines and fashion designers don't want me to believe that. I'm their prime demographic – they've got bills to pay! Sell! Sell! Sell! They stand in the middle of the room and stomp their feet like they're having a ginormous tantrum. Ad campains, fashion shows, anorexic models, designer this, on-trend that, look like this, do that, YOU too can have it ALL!

WAAAAAAAAAA!

I'm not listening.

Silence.

All I hear are the thoughts in my own head telling me I'm perfect and beautiful and loving and amazing just as I am TODAY!

Whataya know, in about a second, problem solved.

Scale, gone. Self-acceptance, in full effect. Check.

Of course I have goals. I want to be able to rock out in Dee's circuit class and not feel like I'm about to die (in the most amazing way ever) – promise! I want to have plenty of energy to keep up with Ella and whatever else life throws my way. I want to prevent disease and do the things I know will help me to LIVE a more productive life because I FEEL GOOD from the inside out.

I want to set a good example. Not only for Ella, but for the other women that I encounter that think they aren't worth it today, but 10 pounds from today. Why do we get together and complain about our thighs and hips? WHY do we do this???

I highly doubt I will look back on my life and wish I loved myself less. I do believe I will look back and realize how fabulous I really was. Why not realize that right now and go with it?

I am.

I am committed to not engaging in disparaging body talk with myself or anyone else.

I am committed to banishing the scale from my life FOREVER.

I am committed to accepting my body as God intended – who am I to question His creation?

I was given THIS BODY for a reason, and you were given YOUR BODY for a reason. If you want to make some lifestyle changes that will help you to rock through your day and zip up your jeans without lying down, GO FOR IT!

My only suggestion is this: instead of starting with a number, start with loving yourself just a little bit more today than you did yesterday.

It just might stick.

Do what you do, love YOU for YOU!

xoxo

p.s. This post was inspired by the woman that helped to change my outlook on food and body image forver. You can check in with her here. Thanks Barb 😉

 

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